For Homeowners

If you’re maintaining, building, or renovating a house and you can’t figure out why contractors and tradesmen won’t respond to your phone calls, I can help.

a bearded white man wearing a plaid shirt, orange vest, and gray knit cap compares two hammers in a building materials store

If you are wondering why a gang of criminals, drug addicts, and undocumented immigrants have descended on your house to cut it apart with torches, sawzalls, and sledgehammers, and you’re afraid it won’t get put back together again, I can explain.

It’s not like the TV shows. It takes more than an hour to renovate your house. 

When you are doing construction, our world comes to you. You must be comfortable with that. We deal with crappy weather, disrupted supply chains, and incarcerated employees, and we have a hundred clients who live in houses with roofs that leak and pipes that burst. I tell my clients it’s chaos in motion.

My job is to create order out of chaos. 

If you are buying your first house, your focus should be on maintenance. Your boiler has to be cleaned every year, windows need to be washed, bathrooms cleaned, lawns mowed, snow shoveled, and driveways seal coated. The gutters need to be cleaned four or five times a year. 

If you are starting to renovate or build a house, you are starting a construction company. You hire a contractor to provide systems and system management. Most homeowners only do major construction every 15 years, which means your skill level is usually at the beginner stage. If you hire a contractor, you will most likely disrupt the contractor’s systems, causing delays and cost overruns. If you choose to contract the job yourself, you will make costly mistakes because you don’t know what you don’t know. Either way, I’m here to help guide you through it. 

How it works

  1. Send me a request.
  2. I will diagnose the problem and provide an estimate via email.
  3. If you wish to accept my help, make a payment to Dumbass Contractors’ PayPal account for the amount quoted.
  4. My billing rate is $200/hour. That’s what I pay my coaches. A lot of questions can be answered with a video response for $40 or $50. I work with my coaches in half-hour time slots.
  5. Sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.